bambi, basketball wives, brooke, Celebrity Juice, draya, gloria govan, jackie chrisite, malayasia

JoJo’s Thoughts On Basketball Wives L.A Season 2

The Thirst.
 

If I could dedicate this entire post to Jackie Christie’s recyclable wigs, I would, but ain’t nobody got time for that. I used to write about Basketball Wives (click HERE to get a little taste), I haven’t recently because I was trying to shift my blog away from trash and steer it towards class, but I’ve got a flat tire and I have stopped at the land of wig snatching, tiny bikini’s and extreme thirst and you are more than welcome to follow along.

Lets start with GLORIA. Since when are you an actress? Since when does a wife not follow her husband wherever his team goes. If it wasn’t for Matt you wouldn’t even be on this show. Nobody wants to see you in that comic book turned into a movie piece of low budget trash girl BYE. PLEASE tell me I am not the only one that sees the collagen seeping out of her lips. That top lip is throwing so much shade to her lower lip it is ridiculous. I mean LITERAL SHADE. You aren’t even on the show enough to be in this post but I’m going to include you any way because I had to address that upper lip.

So am I.

 

On to DRAYA. I honestly have nothing bad to say about Draya. I think she’s smart for taking her 15 minutes and starting a Bikini line, she wears bikini’s 24/7 so it’s a good look for her. Having a nice body helps too. Her son pops up once every season which is nice to see and I think she’s matured A lot. She is a little raunchy at times but hey, aren’t we all?! (except me). I was DEAD when this happened.

She got Jackie down.

 

Haha @ Jackies face.

WHOEVER MADE THIS PICTURE is awesome. LAURA is ugly on the inside and outside.
 You are a grown woman playing mind games with another grown woman who is too starving for friends to realize when she’s getting played. You are in no way shape or form FUNNY or CUTE. You have the face of a bird and the body of Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas. I used to think you were nice but you are a low down dirty shame and I hope Bambi serves you. Speaking of BAMBI..

When I hear you speak I feel so dumb. PRONOUNCE your words. STAND up straight. You’re basically a Giant with bad posture with a tired pink bandanna on your head and you dress like you have the entire Angela & Vanessa Simmons Pastry collection in your closet. I don’t care for you. However, I agree with you about Laura. She is fake, but you did your part and told your new BFF Jackie. You hate Laura so much stop being around her. Please don’t ever do another old school Soulja Boy dance in your show ever again.

Next is MALAYSIA. I think she is pretty, but how she had a full horses mouth put in and is still able to talk is beyond me. She was messy for asking Brooke if her ex was going to be at the pool party, but they talked it out and all was fixed. She is kind of boring this season. So.. yeah.

 Bobblehead BROOKE does not play. Her head sure was moving when she was arguing with Jackie wasn’t it? Brooke had Jackie quiet as a church mouse when she got in her face. Jackie tried it with “We can take it to the ring”. Oh really Jackie? You wasn’t talking about take it to the ring when you told Brooke she’s going to need health insurance. I like Brooke I think she’s my favorite. She seems real and tries to solve problems before she gets up in your grill. How about her two grown ass kids!? Who knew.

JACKIE is too old for all of this. Her fashions, her hair, those eyelashes, her attitude, is all way past dead. Jackie needs to be drenched because her thirst is severe. She’s trying so hard to be young like everyone else but she just can’t. Being Young/Youthful is a lifestyle Jackie and you ain’t bout it! You need to ask Malaysia where she gets her Malaysian hair, have her take you shopping and hook you up. Let Draya show you some work out routines and let Gloria do your makeup if you really want to fit in. How is it that everyone comes back to a new season suited and booted but you still wearing your personal line from 2010. HOW DO YOU GET MARRIED IN FRONT OF GAY PEOPLE WHO WISH THEY HAD THE SAME RIGHTS?! If I was gay I would have egged you as soon as you stepped in. Did you honestly talk to your mom’s grave about the rest of the hood rat cast, and those girls don’t give a G.D about you?! I just cannot with you anymore. I feel bad because I feel like you reaaaaallly seriously want to be apart of something, maybe you need to take a pilgrimage to Japan and find a sensei to show you the way boo.

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