Yup! That’s me and my new husband, Michael. We got married September 21st, 2012. I don’t usually write about marriage, but I feel it’s long over-due! I wrote a while ago that I’d write a post about what I’ve learned about being married, so here you are my loyal readers! Hopefully by writing this, people will understand (from my perspective) what marriage is and isn’t. What I have anticipated to be a smooth newlywed ride has turned into a crash course on real life. That Doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing though. I’ve smiled a lot more than I have frowned, and I’ve laughed a lot more than I have cried. So for all those considering marriage, here is what I THINK you should know.
1. Don’t Expect Every One To Support Your Marriage
There is always going to be something you do in your personal life that offends other people. The reason behind that? Who knows? Everyone isn’t going to be on your team. The deciding factors behind their decisions may vary. It may be age, religion, sex, race, but whatever the case may be, there is always going to be some one opposing what you do. My advice is, all that matters now is you and your husband/wife. Some one may not support the two of you, but legally and emotionally you guys are bonded to each other, and nobody else, and having or not having their support will never change that.
2. Don’t Get Comfortable
Speaking with people that have been married a while often times scare me. “Awe that’s cute you guys are kissing, after 7 years you’ll barely notice each other”. Never let that come true. Always act like it’s your first date and NEVER stop sharing your deepest darkest secrets. These are the beginning years of your marriage, live it up and free your inhibitions with each other. Maybe in 20 years you’ll get too comfortable and stop acting like newlyweds, maybe its inevitable. I believe it’s just a matter of habit forming. If you act like every situation is your first, and keep that same enthusiasm as if it was, it will never get old.
3. You Will Lose Friends
It’s just natural. Now most of your time goes to your spouse, you guys are trying to move to a better place, get better cars, better careers, get ready for a family, and keep a happy home. You’re busy. People that you were close with (especially those who aren’t married) sometimes don’t understand that. Yes, don’t LOSE yourself in each other, but put each other first. Once you start putting people/things in front of your marriage, it’s just going to cause problems. Hang out with your friends when you can, still be there for them verbally even if you can’t always be there physically. Try your best to explain to them what your responsibilities are as a wife/husband, if they’re a good friend they’ll come around. If not, then keep on moving.
4. Realize That You Guys Are Each others Best friends.
I was reading an article about a wife who had a pretty good marriage, until her daughter became old enough to be her best friend. She wanted to always shop with her daughter, talk to her daughter, text her daughter, and pretty much left her husband in the dust. As a result of that, their marriage suffered. Now, I’m sure there could have been more to it than that but the bottom line is do not stop treating your spouse like your best friend. Be silly together, dream together, stay up talking about everything and anything with each other. Never stop confiding in each other, because the best part of marriage (to me) is the strong friendship. We may fight, we may argue, we may not even want to look at each other, but like true best friends- no matter what we go through-we are still best friends after all is said and done.
5. Being Aware Of Your Roles As A Wife/Husband
I don’t mean being submissive or dominate (unless you guys like that kinda thing) I mean if your a shopaholic and you are terrible with money, maybe you shouldn’t be the one in charge of the finances. If your “cleaning” consists of sweeping things into a corner, maybe you shouldn’t be the one in charge of cleaning. Both of you bring different traits to the relationship, put them to work so they benefit the both of you.
I honestly can say being married is the best choice I have made in my life, and It has everything to do with my husband. Who knew marriage would teach me how to mature and help me come into my own. I feel more secure within myself than I have ever felt. As a newlywed I can only relate to other newlyweds. This post wasn’t to lecture- but to speak from my perespective. To Give a little insight on what its like being a 23 year old wife. (And it’s awesome).
And here’s some of my wedding photos!