“Tall mocha chai hold foam skim milk espresso blended whip hazelnut tops, please”. Kudos to you baristas that speak coffanese, because GOD FORBID if certain people at coffee shops had to order like normal people.
Since there is a Peet’s Coffee right next to my school, I have the pleasure of rubbing elbows with some of the snootiest, unusal, coffee addicts I have ever seen. Here they are in a nutshell.
1. The Observers.
They sit, with their little coffees, and people watch. They sit quietly and eaves drop on trivial conversations their fellow coffee goers partake in. As if they need as much information as they can on how americans interact at coffee shops, so they can take it back to their leader. You can also find them next to a window seat, breaking their necks to catch a glimpse of you walking by, just because.
2. The Writer.
Takes up a whole table with their crap, buys one cup of coffee and lives off of it for the entire day. Looks up and away from their computer more than they type. Eager to tell anybody who ask’s how the antagonist is the most unique character in the whole book (of course).
3. The Blind-Dates/ Meet-Upers.
The blind-daters usually look pretty awkward together. Small convo’s until one realizes that the other isn’t exactly a personal trainer. One eventually will slowly walk out. The meet-upers are usually old friends who haven’t seen each other in while, or people giving job interviews. Would I ever interview for a job at a coffee shop. NO MA’AM. If you have no place of business, your business is no place of mine.
4. The “pretend best friend” of the Baristas.
They are usually at the coffee shop sporadically through out the day, to tell Alex (the super busy but patient Barista) about their new subscription to Home & Gardens Magazine. They hold up the line by dishing out little tid bits of information from their life. They can also be seen chillin’ by the pick up area for the drinks.
All in all, I love buying coffee…So these people are just perks of the experience.