He just always looks like, right before he takes the picture, he was out in 120 degree weather. I feel like I need a Snapple Apple just by looking at him.
No, no I’m not judging him. Chris and his Crypt Keeper steeze can keep on moving down the path of Jesus and dance forever for all I care, but you cannot sit up here and tell me that something inside you doesn’t stir when you see that boney face in the car window, it makes me feel some type of way. I have nothing against him, and it could either be drugs or stress. I hope it’s stress.. (although it’s probably coke because why not, he’s a celebrity.) Get your life and metabolism together chris. Much love.
“Tall mocha chai hold foam skim milk espresso blended whip hazelnut tops, please”. Kudos to you baristas that speak coffanese, because GOD FORBID if certain people at coffee shops had to order like normal people.
Since there is a Peet’s Coffee right next to my school, I have the pleasure of rubbing elbows with some of the snootiest, unusal, coffee addicts I have ever seen. Here they are in a nutshell.
1. The Observers.
They sit, with their little coffees, and people watch. They sit quietly and eaves drop on trivial conversations their fellow coffee goers partake in. As if they need as much information as they can on how americans interact at coffee shops, so they can take it back to their leader. You can also find them next to a window seat, breaking their necks to catch a glimpse of you walking by, just because.
2. The Writer.
Takes up a whole table with their crap, buys one cup of coffee and lives off of it for the entire day. Looks up and away from their computer more than they type. Eager to tell anybody who ask’s how the antagonist is the most unique character in the whole book (of course).
3. The Blind-Dates/ Meet-Upers.
The blind-daters usually look pretty awkward together. Small convo’s until one realizes that the other isn’t exactly a personal trainer. One eventually will slowly walk out. The meet-upers are usually old friends who haven’t seen each other in while, or people giving job interviews. Would I ever interview for a job at a coffee shop. NO MA’AM. If you have no place of business, your business is no place of mine.
4. The “pretend best friend” of the Baristas.
They are usually at the coffee shop sporadically through out the day, to tell Alex (the super busy but patient Barista) about their new subscription to Home & Gardens Magazine. They hold up the line by dishing out little tid bits of information from their life. They can also be seen chillin’ by the pick up area for the drinks.
All in all, I love buying coffee…So these people are just perks of the experience.
|I know, this pic is sort of creepy but you get the point.|
I should be the last person telling you guys this, given the fact that I have a LIST of things I will never try:
1. Getting over my fear of spiders
2. Jumping out of a plane
3. Crack/Cocaine or any drug that some one got famous for selling and then got a featured spot American Gangster
4. Any kind of food that was on Man Vs. Food
5. Living in Richmond
Life is to short to be congested with the fear of “What if”. What if I do this and something happens to me? What if I do this and people think of me a certain way. WHO CARES! You want to drop your job like a bad habit and travel the world? Go do it! You want to all of a sudden become a male stripper and a piano teacher on the side? Break out the thong and some sheet music, for life is an open playground, and you NEVER go to a play ground without trying out each swing, each monkey bar, and each slide (if you went to a playground as a child and swung on one swing and left you should be in a mental home).
Too often I hear some one speak with so much enthusiasm about something they’re interested in, but never test the waters. Life likes it rough, it likes to be attacked, You have to get up on that thang and ride it till the wheels fall off!! I would NEVER want to be 45 and say “Omg why didn’t I get into [insert fabulous career] when I was young and able?” Yeah you may try a few things and fail miserably, but that’s apart of finding out who you are. Don’t live up to what other people “think” you’d be great at, or what other people want from you. You want to dance and jig around your neighborhood like Santa this year? Do that sh*t.
Surround yourself with people who love you and will support you through all your paths to discovery, because one out of 20 will be the jackpot, and they’ll be there at the top with you waiting for a thank you card, and 15,000 for life counseling fees.
|I pay you DUST.|
|My knees would hurt so bad if i did that.|
All gifts courtesy of fuckyeahbeyonceknowles.tumblr.com